Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
