we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
