"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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