Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
