Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Drake has all the answers
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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