if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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