i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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