I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
