just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
All I want is dick and wine.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
