Define "chronic" masturbator.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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