So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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