Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
