so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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