I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
