He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
