They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
