I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
