Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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