Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
