it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
