After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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