How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
