So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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