iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
