Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
