just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
