I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
