Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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