I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
