I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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