Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
