She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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