I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
