He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
