God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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