On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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