If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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