True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just want to make out with him forever
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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