Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
