Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize