i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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