Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize