I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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