Dual....:-)
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
