it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
