Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
