Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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