I don't usually arrange sex via text message
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
