I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
