Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
