I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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