if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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