david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
two words...techno handjob
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
