Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
