We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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