How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize