Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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