Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
