Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
