we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
