so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
