i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
