Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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