Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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