Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
