I'm sorry my penis didn't work
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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