the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize